The Devil loves to keep us busy identifying and judging others in our minds. That way we never see or deal with what is wrong with us! When we focus our thoughts and conversations on the shortcomings of others we are usually being deceived about our own conduct. Therefore Jesus commanded that we not concern ourselves with the wrongs of others when we have so much wrong with ourselves see Mat 7:3-5 we cannot change others or ourselves but we can cooperate with the Holy Spirit and allow Him to do the work. Allow God to deal with yourself first and then you will be able to humbly, lovingly and effectively help others.