Here aretwenty-five funny quotes to get you started. 1. “If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.” ~ Dave Allen 2. “The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.” ~ Albert Einstein 3. “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.” ~ Mae West 4. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” ~ Fred Allen 5. “The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.” ~ Dave Barry 6. “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.” ~ Josh Billings 7. “Things ain’t what they used to be and probably never was.” ~Will Rogers 8. “Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.” ~ Gary Busey 9. “I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.” ~ Walt Disney 10. “Hippies, hippies… they want to save the world but all they do is smoke pot and play frisbee!” ~ Eric Cartman